Are you Green?

This comes from another part of my life (which I’m happy to talk about. I’ve never been shy discussing anything - feel free to ask) - there is a really good model for checking in that what we’re talking about and doing right now is OK for everyone involved.

I’ve thought about how we can adapt this to our interactions - so I present Red/Amber/Green - a way to navigate our emotions right now.

Red/Amber/Green states

• Red - Stop it now. I need to walk away from this situation/conversation. I will be back when I can continue talking.
• Amber - This is not great for me. I would like to stop this situation/conversation and find another topic/way forward.
• Green - This is totally OK for me. I am coping well and comfortable with this situation/conversation

So it’s OK to start off a conversation Green and due to a topic change or a comment find yourself in Amber or Red.

When you’re in Red sometimes you just can’t even talk about what’s going on - everything has just overwhelmed and distance is best.

When we aren’t under a lot of extra stress - that Amber/Red state can be when we “tune out” a conversation - when we doodle in a book or just lose focus.

With the extra stresses of the current situation - we need to be more sensitive and aware.

So my suggestion is to

• Be Kind. Check in that things are Green at the start of a conversation with anyone.
• Be Aware. Of yourself and the other person. Has the conversation changed? Have we switched from a work chat into something else? Check in again.
• Be Honest. There is no shame saying “Amber” or “Red” - or even just holding up an orange or a pink posit (cause there ain’t no red). Being not OK is totally OK. Walk away and come back to it when you are in the right state to continue. Don’t put energy into masking your emotions - you need that energy to deal with the world right now.

Try this out - it might be odd when you first do it - as you get more used to it, it becomes second nature - checking in and mutually signalling is easy.